Posts Tagged ‘jaw-ache-stress’

Effective Empathy

When someone tells you something they are going through that is difficult, and you feel empathy for them, you may furrow your brow, squint your eyes a bit, sincerely feel something in your heart and say, “I’m so sorry to hear that, let me know if there is anything I can do.” Then you my spend the next few hours or days reflecting about their circumstances. You may share their story with a close friend or family member. This will probably help you feel a bit better about it, having shared your concern. I invite you to try doing one active thing-something that may positively affect their circumstance.

When we go through something challenging we tend to be less objective and more likely to ignore the simple solutions. I know when I get a cold I often completely forget about drinking lots of fluids (which is really helpful) but if someone tells me they are sick I immediately remind them of drinking tea and lots of fluids. So, instead of saying “let me know if there is something I can do” try suggesting one or two specific things you can do. Your friend may not be objective in there situation and it really helps to hear even the simplest of suggestions out loud. Be aware not to lecture them that isn’t what I mean at all-just the basic loving things we all need to hear.

We are not clinicians and we should not diagnose, and the issue is not our issue, but we are connected. Our goal is in being effectively empathetic without becoming enmeshed or overly involved.

Effective Empathy is useful and helps to transcend our issues so we can move into more positive action. Inactive sympathy is inactive and can add to the stagnation of an issue. It also does not empower the recipient.

When my baby was born my husband needed to return to work after about two weeks. I was recovering as well as acclimating to parenthood. It was an intense time. My friend, Amy came over one day and helped me more than I could have imagined. Watching her sprightly bounce around my apartment in good health doing my dishes and my laundry gave me such hope that soon I too will have my life and energy back. She had been through an intense birth as well about a year before, and really understood what I was going through. She turned her empathy into effectiveness and I will always be grateful to her for that.

In Moroccan culture it is said that when you go to see a sick person-your presence itself helps them to heal quicker. It’s true! By being a healing presence to an ill person you are giving them the greatest gift of all-you! So next time you think you’d like to help in some way…gracefully insist on coming over to be with them. Remember many people are very stoic-myself included-when they are sick, so try to get past that. Respect their boundaries of course but don’t underestimate the power of being there for someone in need.

If they are far away, pray or send them healing energy. It seems obvious but how many times do we say, “you’re in my thoughts”…and then move onto something else. It takes time to really send your love and positivity. Pause and do it-it is active. At the end of the day you too will feel good having been effective with your empathy and there’s nothing wrong with that! Feeling effective is one of the best feelings in the world especially if it is in helping another.

Haven Soho Spa Review

Nestled in the bustling side-streets of SoHo is a true Haven amongst the busyness and at times, this chaotic center of shopping, restaurants and art galleries.  Haven has been around since 1998 and is one of New York’s original and affordable day spas. The ambiance here is incredible in that as one walks through the halls it  feels less like a spa in SoHo and more like a retreat in a remote and quiet place in New Mexico.  Haven is gently well lit and inviting with warm hues of mauve and plum.

I have enjoyed a variety of services here as I proudly was employed for five years at this spa.  This makes me favorably biased which is a good sign.  Not everyone can recommend places they were previously employed.  The owners have diligently put together a spa menu that is a head to toe fantastic and rejuvenating experience.  From body treatments to specialized manicures and pedicures.  I witnessed them consistently experiment till they would find the right combination of essential oils, scrubs and other delicious products for their services.  It would be difficult to review all the services offered here but I recommend Haven highly as a full service spa for grooming and relaxing.  Waxing is also available with both regular and organic wax for sensitive skin.

The cost for a one hour massage is $115.00 which is well under other competitors in the neighborhood.  As mentioned, the ambiance here is artistically relaxing especially considering its central location.  Their customer service is very good as is the hygiene.  A special recommendation about the facials offered is that they really have exceptional esteticians so it is worthwhile to check them out.  The facials start at $110.00 for the one hour Remedy Facial.  The Products used in the facials are a choice of Yon-ka or Sonya Dakar.  Both tried and true lines.  Haven also carries it’s own line of massage oils that are quite good.

A word about the locker room and changing area is that because it is small you must change in the bathrooms.  This can be time consuming if it is busy.  Always arrive early to give ample time to change in a restful and non stressful way.   Generally, it is not a problem and once you are settled the lounge area is very comfortable.

www.havensoho.com

The Chakra System in Yoga

The practice of Yoga has gained an immense popularity over the last few decades.  There are classes in gyms everywhere in small rural areas to cosmopolitan centers.  Among the benefits of participating consistently  in a well instructed class are good alignment, improved breathing and more spiritual connection (alignment through the Chakra system).  This last part is often forgotten or completely overlooked because yoga is often represented as simply another form of exercise.  Yoga means path or way.  The practice of the Asanas (poses in yoga) are meant as a way to connect to one’s center,  to source energy and spirit. Yoga is an ancient spiritual practice that effects your body, mind and spirit by practicing balance, strength and focus as we connect to the chakra system.  The words Yoga and Chakra were taken over by a flighty new age perspective at one point -it is important to reclaim them as they are refreshingly structured and grounded.  They are concepts that have been around for thousands of years and for good reasons.

Chakra means wheel in Sanskrit.  Literally wheel of energy.  The seven main chakras correlate directly to nerve plexus exit points from the spine to the rest of your body.  An optimal structural and energetic alignment affects your whole body’s systems (nervous, endocrine, cardio-vascular etc).  A brief explanation of the chakra system is to imagine the seven chakras as (depicted in the photo above).  Now imagine earth energy winding its way upward to meet the heavenly energy which is in turn is winding its way downward to meet the earth.  This creates the spin action of the chakra wheels.  Earth and Heaven or the divine masculine and feminine merging in a constant dance.  To create a good alignment for these energies helps us to feel the great vitality and peace we are meant to experience.   Before I get too esoteric let me finish by simply stating that maybe this fantastic feeling is why yoga caught on so fast and furiously in the west!

I often find that it is the root chakra (first Chakra) in many people that needs awareness and nourishment.  The root chakra-our “survival” chakra includes our money, food, and shelter the basic necessities.  Without these, we do not have a strong foundation for the other aspects of our lives (the other chakras).   It is very important to realize that the root chakra begins at the feet.  To feel grounded (root chakra) draw energy up thru the center of your feet . Nourishing earth energy. (See posture article than come back to this).  Feel the whole foot on the ground.  Toes and all.

For further work and information, Anodea Judith’s many books and audio tapes on the subject of the chakra system are excellent.

So, next time you are in yoga class remember in each pose you are effecting one if not several or all the chakras.  Learning about each chakras purpose from the root to the crown will make the practice much deeper and exciting and even more enjoyable

How to Keep Your Spirit up in a Recession

The current financial crisis has been very devastating to many people.  Most of us are seeking ways to tighten our budget even if we have not been directly effected by the current recession.  We are all planning for hard times.  This can be a cue to simplify our lifestyle, to get in touch with our spiritual center and to let go of attachment to material connections.  This, however, does not mean we cannot enjoy ourselves.  Reconnecting with life’s simple pleasures can be of greater reward than material splurges.  One can achieve this balance by using what I call the seven senses:  seeing, touching, hearing, smelling, tasting, breathing and laughing.

A lot of this you may do anyway, but when it is done consciously and with an intention it can lead into an actual shift in your mood.  A heightened awareness.  This is about taking control of your mood and circumstance.  The old saying “money can’t buy happiness” is true.  Sometimes it takes a simplification of one’s life to “own” one’s state of being.

1. Seeing- The visual sense is used in Color Therapy.  Each color has a vibration it can give off to help our mood.   For the cost of a few gallons of paint, you can brighten your  living space using warm colors – such as paprika, aqua or apple green  to impart a feeling of coziness in a room. A museum is a great place to stimulate your visual sense through the incredible use of color and light.  This will help lift your spirit and improve your overall mood.

2 Touching- Nothing feels more comforting than a warm, loving touch.  Massage, hugs, dance and exercise are vital ways with which to stay happy and connected.  Even petting your cat or dog has been documented to reduce stress.

3. Hearing- Music is known for its miraculous ability to better our mood. From Arias to Zytego, music soothes the savage beast within us all.  So, don’t forget to reconnect with your favorite music.

4.Tasting- Cooking for someone you love is one of life’s simplest and often forgotten pleasures!  Certain foods have joyful properties such as fruits and of course, chocolate in moderation.

5. Smelling-Aromatherapy is a fantastic healing option.  The scents available are so intoxicating!  Jasmine, Bergamot and Geranium are very romantic and uplifting.   for more on the healing qualities of aromatherapy, read A Simple Guide to Aromatherapy.

6. Breathing-  though not an actual sense, is a great way to enjoy whatever you are doing.  Correct deep breathing helps stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, bringing the body back to a resting state. Many forms of meditation are based on the way we breathe.

7. A sense of humor-the seventh sense!   What can make you feel better than true, unbridled laughter?   Laughter is known to reduce the level of stress hormones like Cortisol, Epinephrine  and Dopamine . It also increases the level of healthy hormones such as endorphins.  Consciously spend time with people who really make you laugh and share in your sense of humor!

It doesn’t take a lot of money to feel more positive and uplifted.  Try getting in touch with the simpler pleasures in life and see how much more centered and gratified it can make you feel.  Simplicity is a necessary luxury and feeding our souls is the most nourishing action we can take in troubled and chaotic times.