Posts Tagged ‘living-with-sciatica’

Effective Empathy

When someone tells you something they are going through that is difficult, and you feel empathy for them, you may furrow your brow, squint your eyes a bit, sincerely feel something in your heart and say, “I’m so sorry to hear that, let me know if there is anything I can do.” Then you my spend the next few hours or days reflecting about their circumstances. You may share their story with a close friend or family member. This will probably help you feel a bit better about it, having shared your concern. I invite you to try doing one active thing-something that may positively affect their circumstance.

When we go through something challenging we tend to be less objective and more likely to ignore the simple solutions. I know when I get a cold I often completely forget about drinking lots of fluids (which is really helpful) but if someone tells me they are sick I immediately remind them of drinking tea and lots of fluids. So, instead of saying “let me know if there is something I can do” try suggesting one or two specific things you can do. Your friend may not be objective in there situation and it really helps to hear even the simplest of suggestions out loud. Be aware not to lecture them that isn’t what I mean at all-just the basic loving things we all need to hear.

We are not clinicians and we should not diagnose, and the issue is not our issue, but we are connected. Our goal is in being effectively empathetic without becoming enmeshed or overly involved.

Effective Empathy is useful and helps to transcend our issues so we can move into more positive action. Inactive sympathy is inactive and can add to the stagnation of an issue. It also does not empower the recipient.

When my baby was born my husband needed to return to work after about two weeks. I was recovering as well as acclimating to parenthood. It was an intense time. My friend, Amy came over one day and helped me more than I could have imagined. Watching her sprightly bounce around my apartment in good health doing my dishes and my laundry gave me such hope that soon I too will have my life and energy back. She had been through an intense birth as well about a year before, and really understood what I was going through. She turned her empathy into effectiveness and I will always be grateful to her for that.

In Moroccan culture it is said that when you go to see a sick person-your presence itself helps them to heal quicker. It’s true! By being a healing presence to an ill person you are giving them the greatest gift of all-you! So next time you think you’d like to help in some way…gracefully insist on coming over to be with them. Remember many people are very stoic-myself included-when they are sick, so try to get past that. Respect their boundaries of course but don’t underestimate the power of being there for someone in need.

If they are far away, pray or send them healing energy. It seems obvious but how many times do we say, “you’re in my thoughts”…and then move onto something else. It takes time to really send your love and positivity. Pause and do it-it is active. At the end of the day you too will feel good having been effective with your empathy and there’s nothing wrong with that! Feeling effective is one of the best feelings in the world especially if it is in helping another.

Virtues of slowing down-Video

The creation of the Slow Movement is refreshing.  It’s great to hear it told from the perspective of a self-proclaimed recovered “speedster!”  In this video, Carl Honore explores the concept of slowness and the many virtues of slowing our pace and connecting with our own inner-tortoise!

Journalist Carl Honore believes the Western world’s emphasis on speed erodes health, productivity and quality of life. But there’s a backlash brewing, as everyday people start putting the brakes on their all-too-modern lives.

source: http://www.ted.com

Neck exercise AKA “The Clock”

Stretching the neck muscles can be challenging and confusing.  Here is a simple, centering neck exercise that can help alleviate neck pain.  It is called “The Clock.”  This is the same pattern of movement as used in the article entitled, Computer Eye Strain Exercises.

Lay on the floor in supine position (face up) on a yoga mat or towel.  You want the surface to be firm but not too hard.  First, feel the muscles of your head on the ground beneath you.  The floor will be your guide as you move through the exercise, so maintain contact with it without too much effort.  Also,  you will be gently massaging these muscles via the pressure on the floor as you move through this neck exercise.  Make sure your head is in good alignment.  Your neck should not be flat on the floor and your chin should not jut out.
Look up and imagine a large clock above you. Now move your head up towards the twelve and then down to the six slowly three times. This will mimic the “yes” movement.  Now, move your head from the three to the nine three times slowly. This will mimic the “no” movement. You can use your  nose as a guide. Remember to maintain contact with the floor beneath you. Now you can hopefully sense your neck in a more centered alignment. Maintain this centered feeling for the rest of the exercise because you will want to return to it as your reference point for these next steps.
Next you will do the opposite diagonal movements of the clock. Look up at the one and down at the seven three times slowly. Place the one right next to the twelve and the seven right next to the six. This will be a more specific stretch. Next do eleven and five o’clock again, imagining them right next to the twelve and the six on your clock. Pause in the center as mentioned before.
Lastly, and this is where people often feel the most dramatic part of the stretch. Look at two o’clock and eight o’clock three times slowly. Then ten o’clock and four o’clock three times slowly.
It is very important to do this in this sequence as you need to center yourself before you do the diagonal movements. The benefit is not the same if you skip steps. When you have completed the series take your head three times slowly clockwise and than counterclockwise to complete the neck exercise. Remember to enjoy the massaging sensation on the muscles on the back of your head.
This technique can help to create better alignment of your neck. It can also increase your proprioceptive awareness of your head and neck placement and of course relieve tense and painful areas of the neck and shoulders.
It may be a little choppy while you are learning the stretch at first because you have to keep referring back to the directions but hang in there soon you will know it by heart and enjoy doing it as part of a daily decompression technique.

Photo source: kramesonline.com

Computer eye strain exercises

In this new age of computer screens and Blackberries, our eyes are forced to undergo a whole new adaptation to decipher and process digital information. The nature of computer screens themselves present a vision challenge. Computer images are not solid characters since they’re made up of pixels, which makes focusing on them difficult for the human eye.

Here are two exercises that can help relieve tired, sedentary or strained eyes. There are six external muscles of the eyes. They are: Superior, Inferior, Medial and Lateral Rectus, and the Superior and Inferior Oblique muscles. Just as we need to stretch our hamstrings or our gastric muscles, it is equally important and worthwhile to stretch our eye muscles. It feels good too. You will probably want to do this one alone or with people that know you really well-since you might look pretty crazy while doing it!

Procedure one: Counterbalancing eye strain for the external muscles of the eye:

Imagine a large clock in front of you. Look up to the TWELVE. Now down to the SIX. Do this movement three times slowly. Now look to the THREE and then over to NINE. Repeat three times slowly. Next, do ONE and SEVEN. Three times slowly. Now, ELEVEN and FIVE. Yes, three times slowly. TWO and EIGHT. Three times slowly. Lastly, do TEN and FOUR. Three times slowly. When you have completed the whole cycle move your eyes in a clockwise circle three times slowly and then counterclockwise three times. Now, rub your hands together fast to warm them up and cup them gently over your eyelids.

Notice the interesting sensation when you do the diagonal movements. These muscles are not used as often(unless you are a frequent eye-roller:-) and its good to activate and get circulation to these areas of the eyes. You may notice more of your periphery (side vision) as this is a good way to enhance it.

Procedure two: Counterbalancing eye strain for the internal muscle (the Ciliary) which controls near and far vision.

The constant close proximity to our computer screens does not give our eyes the chance to use the long distance focus as often as we probably should. Get outside and look at a far distant point and give this muscle a chance to shift into far focus.

This heightening and care of your senses leads to a more tactile awareness overall. Our eyes receive and are at times even bombarded with so many images. These exercises should help in giving them some much needed relief. As with all of these exercises they are meant to promote good health. Please see your eye doctor for regular checkups and any issues.