The internet is filled with articles (including this website) with “tips.” “8 tips on…” “10 tips on…” It can be so easy to read through them in their entirety and either get overwhelmed or distracted because one tip leads to the next, then on to the next. Without integration in life there can be no true growth. The tragedy with all the information overload that is available nowadays is that we tend to miss the important stuff. We can buy self-help book after self-help book, but unless there is a genuine application of the material on a daily or weekly basis we are wasting our time, money and worse-our energy. The key with a tip is to make a commitment to do it no matter how you feel until it becomes a habit. After all you are adopting this tip to feel better or to get out of a rut so chances are you are not feeling so great when you begin. For example, cardiovascular exercise, we all know the many benefits of it, yet how many of us have bought cardio equipment for home use then let it become a coat rack over time? Gyms count on people buying memberships and not using them for this reason.
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Over the last ten years I have worked in a variety of settings including Medical and Day Spas, Yoga studios, Gyms and Chiropractors offices. This wide and varied experience has given me a very sensitive and shrewd understanding of the spa experience. I understand what goes on behind the scenes and can spot a shotty establishment pretty quick. My background and New York State License in Massage Therapy also makes me an extra picky consumer. Over the next few weeks and months I will be reviewing several New York Spas and sharing my experience for those of you who live in or are visiting the New York City area.
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rief is a very personal and painful experience. Whatever means we use to find solace in our time of grief is significant and should be valued. I lost my mother to breast cancer at the age of sixteen. It was, as one could imagine a great shock to us all. A friend said to me in a strange consolation “I don’t know how I (meaning herself) would ever get through that kind of grief.” I said in a very stoic way I’m sure, “You just do.” She then repeated my words which evidently struck her…”You just do.”
As we drove away from the hospital after my mom passed away in my shock and grief, my greatest fear was that I would forget her: her face, her hands, her voice and eyes. I thought “well, now it’s been an hour since I’ve seen her. Someday it’ll be a year then five years, then ten!” Now, here it is twenty years this past August since I’ve seen her beautiful eyes in person. But here is the great, great thing about feelings, dreams, and yes, even grief. She is with me and I feel her – it may sound cliche or like my own fantasy hope but seriously, there have been several times where I had a dream of her and I woke up and I felt her presence-viscerally. This website is about listening to and honoring your senses and using your intellect to help sort through and deal with challenges we all face. Grief over a loved one is one of the biggest heartaches in our collective human experience.
I have tried to remove myself, to comprehend, even to get over this event but I know now that it is impossible. I’ve surrendered to that because it shapes every moment of your life after something like that happens. You no longer see people and the world in the same way. I really understand how fragile and impermanent this all is because I witnessed it first hand. My perception of time changed too. Most teenagers have an invincibility attached to their behavior-that was never a part of my viewpoint of the world.